Like most of you, I have a long story, dating back to early childhood, about what my body should look like and do. I decided, in my early 30s, to do some work on my relationship to my physical appearance. This involved doing traditional talk therapy, practicing yoga and meditation consistently, and deciding, on purpose, to create a different story. After years of doing thought work, I started seeing that I had fewer negative thoughts about my body. I was actually feeling comfortable in my skin.
Then, at around age 45, I started experiencing perimenopausal symptoms. And then I started noticing my old body image issues resurfacing.
I remember thinking, “I shouldn’t be having these thoughts anymore. I already did so much work on this.”
Luckily, I was able to see that these were just old thoughts that were resurfacing and I was able to give myself some grace. They were resurfacing because my hormones were fluctuating and this was causing changes in my body composition and my mood.
I know that just because old thoughts come up, I don’t have to make them mean anything. I can choose to believe something different.
For me, it helps to have a toolbox that I can go to when I notice I’m having negative thoughts. My body image toolbox consists of:
- Thought work. Spending time on thinking intentional thoughts. I do this through my own self-coaching and I also work with my life coach. Practicing new thoughts requires repetition, and I find having a coach helps me stay on track and helps me add some levity to my mindset.
- Practicing meditation and/or EFT tapping. I’ve found that these practices help regulate my nervous system.
- Identifying (and minimizing) my body image triggers.
- I review periodically the social media accounts I follow and determine if they contribute to negative thoughts about my body—if they do, I unfollow them.
- Clothes that no longer fit, I get rid of. I’ve found that as my weight fluctuates throughout the month, I keep different sizes and allow for days where I’m feeling bloated and don’t want to wear anything too form-fitting (this is the same for bras and underwear).
- I don’t have mirrors in my home office, and I don’t look in mirrors when I’m exercising. I rarely weigh myself. I know mirrors and scales trigger negative thoughts for me, so I minimize my exposure to them.
- I don’t hang around with people who are always criticizing other people’s bodies.
- Cultivating levity. Similar to keeping a gratitude journal, I like to jot down (and/or talk about with my partner) funny things that I experience throughout my day. I also like to watch funny pet videos/reels on Instagram and YouTube. Anything that makes me giggle and feel lighter.
- Have a consistent self-care routine. Even though I work from home, it’s important for me to do my daily skin care and add a little pop of color to my lips and cheeks. If I leave the house, I like to put on cute outfits and makeup.
- Move my body. I don’t stay in negative self-talk if I fall off from my fitness routine. Instead, I focus on doing at least a 15-minute activity a day, like lifting light weights, doing a quick yoga or pilates video on YouTube, or doing my own dance party to a Spotify playlist.
I know there is real power in changing the narrative I have about myself as I continue on this perimenopause journey.
If you want help in shifting your internal dialogue about your body, set up a call with me to learn more about how I can support you.